Is This Real Love… or Codependency?

There’s a type of love that feels intense, consuming, and almost intoxicating.

It sounds like:

• “We do everything together.”

• “They’re my whole world.”

• “If they weren’t in my life… I would fall apart.”

At first, it feels romantic.

But sometimes what we call deep love is actually something else.

Sometimes it’s codependency.

What Is Codependency?

Codependency is not simply loving someone deeply.

It’s when your emotional stability, identity, or sense of safety becomes dependent on another person’s presence, approval, or behavior.

It can look like:

• Feeling anxious when you’re apart

• Struggling to enjoy hobbies or friendships outside the relationship

• Avoiding conflict out of fear they will leave

• Believing you cannot function without them

• Losing your sense of self in the relationship

Codependency often develops from survival patterns — not weakness. It can stem from:

• Childhood emotional neglect

• Inconsistent caregiving

• Trauma

• Fear of abandonment

• Attachment wounds

It makes sense. It once protected you.

But it may no longer be serving you.

What Healthy Love Actually Looks Like

Healthy love does not require losing yourself.

Healthy love includes:

• Separate friendships

• Individual hobbies

• Emotional regulation without panic

• Time apart without fear

• Conflict without catastrophe

• Two whole people choosing each other daily

Real love says:“I choose you.”

Codependency says:“I need you to survive.”

There is a difference.

The Question That Changes Everything

If losing them feels like losing yourself…

It may not be love.

It may be fear of being alone.

And fear-based attachment can feel just as intense as love — sometimes even more.

But intensity is not the same thing as intimacy.

You Deserve Wholeness

You deserve a love where:

• You are whole.

• They are whole.

• And you build together — not collapse without each other.

Healing codependency isn’t about loving less.It’s about loving from stability instead of survival.

It’s about knowing:“I am okay on my own… and I choose to share my life with you.”

And that shift?It changes everything.

Truly Her Counseling-Helping women build secure attachment, healthy boundaries, and love from wholeness 🤍 #georgiacounselor #atlantacounselor